


All The Things He Never Knew

by escapismandwanderlust



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2011-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapismandwanderlust/pseuds/escapismandwanderlust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A decade after the war, Hermione opens her door to find someone she did not expect. Can she forgive the boy who hurt her so many years before, and accept the man he's become?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Things He Never Knew

She didn't understand how, after so many years of battling against Lord Voldemort, her fight or flight response could kick in in response to something like this. She didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act. She had battled Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. Had been in blood thirsty combat against the most powerful evils her world had ever known. Yet it was this single young man standing on her front porch that made her question her strength. Made her question whether she had it in her to stick around and fight when all she wanted to do was take flight back to the safety and warmth of her shelter.

Hermione stood in the doorway of her London flat taking in the sight before her. A young man. Pointed face. Platinum blond hair. Eyes the same color as the storm filled sky above their heads. She was face to face with Draco Malfoy. At least, she thought it was him. Everything screamed familiarity except for those eyes.

The brilliant gray eyes before her held remorse, regret and words that he wasn't quite able to say aloud. He was looking at her intensely with those eyes that made her feet stick solidly to the wooden floor of the doorway. There was not a trace of the malice and hatred that had been so common a decade before. In their place was sorrow, pain, memories.

Her head was screaming at her to slam the door in his stone face and never open it again. But her heart, her heart that had been so broken by the events so long ago, that little muscle told her to stay and listen to him. Listen to whatever it was that he had come to say. She'd already heard numerous things from that thin tense mouth that made her blood boil. He couldn't possibly have any new insults to tell her. Not after so long of an absence from her life.

So she stayed. She let her body relax as she stood in the doorway studying him. He had not spoken a word and she wouldn't rush him. Her eyes traveled his body, trying to decipher his body language. His limbs were stone, barely moving, his feet planted firmly on the ground. His hands were tense at his side, though one nervously tapped at his leg every so often. His face was blank, no recognition and no emotion playing across his features. But his eyes, those were what captivated her. He looked straight into her gaze, never faltering as he watched her study him up and down. Their eyes locked and neither dared look away. She would wait for him to speak, but she wouldn't make this easy for him. Eventually she noticed his shoulders heave up and then down as he let out a deep sigh.

"Gra-," He stopped himself and scrunched his eyes shut, finally breaking their gaze. After a moment he look at her once more, determination now clear on his face.

"Her-Hermione," He finally choked out softly, "I-I'm sorry. I know that words are probably not enough for everything he put you through. Certainly not enough for everything I put you through. I know that you'll probably never forgive me. But I just, I just wanted you to know, I am truly sorry." His statuesque posture finally fell as his shoulders slumped forward and one long-fingered hand went to run through his hair.

"I want to start over. I want us to start over. Actually, I think it'd be bloody fantastic if I could start over with the entire bloody world. I know I don't deserve it. But that's all I want." His voice finally reached a normal level and his words were laced with desperation, and what Hermione thought might be, hope. "I was poisoned by tradition and my blood. I was poisoned by words I thought were law. I was young when I was taught to hate you. Taught to hate everyone like you. If I had known then, what I know now… I never… I wouldn't…" His voice trailed off into silence as he stared at newly forming drops of water on his leather shoes.

Thunder crashed above their heads and rain began to trickle from the sky. Hermione watched as Draco looked up to the clouds above. A soft smile played at the edges of his lips. She realized then that she had never seen him smile. She had seen him frown, sneer, growl and gloat, but she had never seen him smile. She had never seen him…happy. Although her feet were bare she stepped a tentative foot out onto the cement step in front of her flat, and then slowly following, the other. She shivered as the rain began to fall harder, dripping down her cheeks and bare arms.

Draco startled at the short distance between himself and the woman he had not spoken to for so many years. The woman he had never said a kind word to until now. He silently pleaded with her to forgive him. Looking deep into her eyes and praying that she could find the warmth he knew she held within her to forgive him for all the things he had done. For all the things he didn't, couldn't, do so long ago.

"What is it, Draco?" His name was a long forgotten, but not unpleasant, sound on her tongue "What is it that you didn't know?"

She was challenging him. He had known that this wasn't going to be an easy apology to make. He knew that there was a chance that she never would forgive him. He really wouldn't have been surprised if she had slammed the door in his face when she saw him standing in the cold. But with her question he felt hope grow within the pit of his chest. She was giving him a chance to open up. She was giving him a chance to make amends. She could easily take that chance away. But for now she was extending him a branch to cling desperately to.

"If I had known that manipulation and guilt are some of the greatest of all evils…If I had known that prejudice and hatred were not hereditary…If I had known that I had the ability to think for myself…I was given a brain that I had control over but I let it be twisted by those I thought cared about me…If I had known what warmth, and love, and happiness were…If I had known that family didn't always mean the blood relatives that kept you locked in your room until you believed the way that they did… If I had known…" Here he took a breath and steadied himself "If I had known that blood was made of red and white cells, platelets and plasma… that blood can only be categorized as A, B, and O, not pure, dirty or mud…"

His voice trailed off as his body relaxed completely. He lifted a hand as if to reach for hers but then dropped it at his side. A few beats passed as he looked down to the ground and then back up to meet her eyes. Hermione's heart stalled momentarily as she saw the warmth held within them. They blazed through the rain and the London cold.

"If I had known all that…I would never have treated you the way that I did. I would have never called you those foul names. I would never have…" He took a step forward and gently lifted his fingers to where hers were hanging limply at her side. He gently took her hand in his, holding it lightly, giving her a chance to pull away if she wanted to. To his surprise she tightened her lithe fingers around his.

"I would have told you everything. I would have told you that I thought you were the most brilliant girl that I had ever met. I would have told you that I envied you. Merlin was I jealous of you! You knew friendship without strings and promotion. You knew warmth. You knew love. You knew family. Instead, my envy turned into a fiery hatred. A hatred that my parents, that Voldemort, that everyone around me helped fan. I used my jealousy to hurt you. And out of everything that occurred during the war, that, that pain I caused, that is what I regret the most. You didn't deserve my anger. You didn't deserve my hatred. You deserved my respect. You deserved… more."

The rain was cascading down upon them as thunder and tension filled the air. Draco was now the one waiting. She had waited patiently for him to speak, and now, although he would have loved to just shake her and beg for her to say something… anything… he had to be patient.

Hermione's eyes drifted to their conjoined hands. Cold raindrops were running over and between their fingers. She watched as the rain washed away a small smudge of dirt on the back of her hand that had come from her freshly potted window plants. A smile tugged at her mouth as she looked up at the grown man before her.

"Do you know what I love most about the rain?" Hermione asked softly. "I love that it washes everything away. Dirt on the ground, ash and smoke in the air. It makes everything feel clean and new again. It gives life to things that could have easily succumbed to the pollution smothering it. Flowers that may have died under ash and dirt are given another chance with just a bit of falling rain. A second chance."


End file.
